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The themes of our favorite childhood movies feature it, musical artists write volumes about it, and entire books and plays are dedicated to it—First Love is a very special kind of love.  Do you remember your first heart-thumping crush, the shy introductions, and the long nights on the telephone?  Everything, even the most mundane of tasks, suddenly feels magical and meaningful and you feel you could stop eating and be nourished on breath alone!  What is the elixer of first love all about , and how can we rekindle first love magic into our love life everyday?

Our first love is a discovery process;  we suddenly want the person standing in front of us to reflect back to us the qualities that we cherish the most.  We feel compelled to explore romance, our deepest wishes and our most important values.

It is in this first love that we start to explore what we find desirable in a person both physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  It’s the beginning of our search to find what the qualities are that make a relationship long standing; the model for our future happiness so to speak.

The research behind the effects of our first love is quite interesting and notable.  Some have found that a first boyfriend or girlfriend actually helps us identify what we DON’T want in a relationship.  Statistics of marriages that sprouted from high school sweethearts supports this theory: only 2% stay happily together in the long term.  Is this a bad thing?

Not necessarily.  Most of us still look back fondly on our first love.  One of the most important parts.  What’s important to evaluate, is what made your first love so exciting, and how you can use those lessons in the present.

1.     Discovering Together

a.     Nothing makes a moment more memorable than when it involves your special someone.  If you feel you’re missing the spontaneity in your love life, it’s probably because you’ve forgotten about the wonder that comes with going on an adventure, stepping out of your routine, or just being a little teen-age crazy together.

2.     Re-Introducing Courtship Formality.

a.     When was the last time you treated your loved one as if he/she were a new crush, and not a life partner?  Sometimes we forget the magic that comes with the formality or courtship—opening a door for your partner, grooming yourself a bit more carefully even if you’re just hanging out at home, or surprising them with their favorite thing to eat.  When we become overly familiar,  it’s easy to fall into rountine and begin to take each other for granted….and that can quickly flatten chemistry.  A little effort, appreciation, and focus can go a long way in re-igniting those fun, special sparks that make us all feel more alive.

3.     Learning from each Other

a.     When you’re thinking back to your first love —what did that person teach you, but more importantly, how open were you to learning?  We start off by hanging on every word, curious to see all that this person has to offer.  Over time though, we fall into that habit of hearing but not really listening to what they could teach us.  It’s good to ask yourself sometimes if you’re treating you beloved with as much   courtesy as you would with a friend or co-worker.  Challenge yourself to tune in and really listen to your loved one in your next conversation.  Your sweetheart is growing and changing too and if you’re not tuned in, you may miss an important opportunity to fall even deeper in love,   You may be surprised at how new and interesting , this person who once captivated you seems.  You may find that when you hear and see them with an open heart ,and mind, that they can capture you heart all over again.  Approaching your relationship with fresh wonder may be the perfect elixir for feeling first love forever.