What is unconditional love??  Every sage, profit, writer, singer, and muse has attempted to describe unconditional love, but have any come close to identifying it? The Greeks called it agape, Victorian romance writers spoke of unrequited love, and the religious refer to pious love.  As a whole, every answer fits together, and in pieces every answer is incomplete.  An enigma for all ages, unconditional love is considered the hardest love to harness.

The term, unconditional love means at its essence to love someone despite their character qualities or their actions.  “Wow!  Are you kidding?  Impossible!”, some might say.

Yet, often without knowing it, we extend unconditional love every day of our lives.  Surprised?  How many times have the people closest to you been nasty, cruel, impossible…or downright unlovable.  Yet, once we’ve had an emotional connection to this person, whether friend, daughter, sister, or beloved, we find ourselves turning back to the relationship, often again and again.  Think for a moment—when was the last time you automatically forgave a loved one, despite their actions?  Happens more often than you think, doesn’t it?

Unconditional love is often born from a connection we have to divine grace.   A realization and acknowledgment that this other person that is so difficult to love, still deserves love; that love doesn’t have to be earned to be received.  Perhaps it is something within all of us that knows that we too may require the same compassion and understanding when we are less than our best.

Unconditional love is simplistically, loving without assigning our own conditions to that love.   When we’re finding ourselves unable to love unconditionally it’s usually because we have put so many conditions on loving ourselves.

Dr. Asa Don Brown, in  Waiting to Live, said, 

“I have frequently thought to myself, ‘If I can teach my daughter one thing, it will be the love of self unconditionally.’ Unconditional love and peace are obtainable, but they are only obtainable if I can learn to move beyond the conditions that I placed on my life. When conditions are placed on my life and on the lives of others, they ensure that I will never experience the depths of love and happiness.”  

Unconditional love isn’t about allowing people to take advantage of your good will and heart.  Unconditional love is generous with forgiveness and renewal, but it does not mean we live without personal boundaries or allow our loved ones to abandon their accountability for their actions.  You can choose to love someone despite their actions, because people and their behaviors are not one and the same.  Everyone makes choices in their life, based on their own level of conscious awareness.  We all are on our own unique journey, and the only one walking in our shoes.  Our interaction and support of one another is a part of the learning and growing in our journeys.  As the giver of unconditional love, you may find yourself offering your support in a certain situations—and in others, step back and allowing your loved one to experience his or her choices fully; independent of your involvement.

When you engage in a relationship, whether it’s friendship, familial, or intimate, you are utilizing your infinite, creative being.  When you tap into your infinite, unlimited self from a place of love, you begin to celebrate the ability to experience a bigger kind of love, by becoming more tolerant, gentle, forgiving, and kind with the people in your life. Doing so requires you to release your assumptions and righteous positions and honor another’s journey while holding loving boundaries around your own personal growth and journey.

Unconditional love is an act of supreme consciousness.  There is a circular flow to love that is a never-ending cycle of giving and receiving.  To receive you must be willing to give.  To give you must be willing to receive.  When loving seems difficult or you feel totally unlovable, focus on the circle of love…see it as complete and unending…and then just be willing to release what you can to step back into the circle.

Let’s celebrate the potential of love to heal and renew hearts and lives every day of the year!  I hope you’ve had a very Happy Valentines Month, and may you embrace the unconditional love inside!

-Crystal

Ahhh. …Puppy Love…Okay, I know you’re probably thinking I’m talking about that innocent love that you mistake for the real thing when you’re too young to know better.   What I mean is….puppy love…the kind that barks, wags it’s tail, and makes you feel like there’s no one in the world that matters but you.  Maybe your favorite , furry friend meows or oinks, but the point is,  once you’ve experienced the love of a precious pet you just don’t want to live without it.   After all, what’s more dependable than the patter of little paws running to greet you at the door when you arrive home? 

Pets share your enthusiasm, comfort you in hard times, and help to stabilize your emotions.  With more than 70% of Americans owning a pet of some sort, 39% owning a dog specifically, and 33% owning a cat„ it’s obvious we’re enchanted with the idea of gracing our households with a little canine and feline diversity.

From the day we bring them home, our pets often become as essential in our lives as our loved ones!  Nothing teaches us patience, unconditional love, or unconditional affection more than a pet.  Pet ownership can also be a great stepping-stone to  committed relationships; breaking us in to  care taking and parental-like duties.  For the single person, hanging out with a pet can increase your chances of social interaction.

What is it, exactly, that makes owning a pet so appealing?  How can we go back to loving them again and again?

Scientifically speaking, pets help lower our blood pressure, cause an increase in dopamine and serotonin.  In fact, consider your fuzzy loved one a number one immunity booster in your every day life—owning a pet that you care for regularly can decrease your chances of heart attack and depression while prolonging your life.  Simply owning a dog can decrease your chances of being overweight, and can help the elderly remain connected and calm as they ease into dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.

Not a pet owner yet?  Then there’s some good news for you—multiple recent studies have shown that owning a furry friend can actually help decrease your allergy symptoms, and reduce the risk of developing allergies and asthma in children. 

Animals are so beautifully simplistic, and we can learn so much from the love our furry babies give us.

Forgive and forget the little things

a.     Your dog always forgives you for accidentally stepping on his tail, and your cat waits patiently to be fed all day while you’re at work.  How do they do it?  Somehow, animals have perfected the old adage of forgiving and forgetting—they never hold onto their pain, anger, or frustration!  Can you imagine how much happier humans would be if they did the same?

Be enthusiastic with your play mates!

a.     For a pet, just your coming home is a celebration.  No matter how preoccupied you’ve been, or what kind of mood you’re in, your animal always drops everything to make time for you.  Just when I start taking my life to seriously, my dog races to the door to greet me with a ball and a happily wagging tail to share.  He looks at me like “ I know you’re thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’… let’s play…!!!”  When was the last time you dropped your woes at the door to be more playful with a partner, spouse, or family member?  Let go of the stress and join in the exuberance joy brings us!

Devotion.

a.     I look at my dogs sometime and think, “ God made you to teach all of us humans what devotion really is.  If only we could all be so ego free.”  Pets are exemplary in their consideration and ability to intuit how we’re feeling at any given moment.  Most animals are empathetic comforters to their human partners.  When you recognize you’ve been a bit self-consumed, my advice is act more like the dog or kitty you love. 

In this month of love, it’s important to remember all the partners in our lives—including our animals.  When we open ourselves to learning from the love around us, we begin to mirror that love in ways that bring a little more joy into all of our human partnerships.. 

The themes of our favorite childhood movies feature it, musical artists write volumes about it, and entire books and plays are dedicated to it—First Love is a very special kind of love.  Do you remember your first heart-thumping crush, the shy introductions, and the long nights on the telephone?  Everything, even the most mundane of tasks, suddenly feels magical and meaningful and you feel you could stop eating and be nourished on breath alone!  What is the elixer of first love all about , and how can we rekindle first love magic into our love life everyday?

Our first love is a discovery process;  we suddenly want the person standing in front of us to reflect back to us the qualities that we cherish the most.  We feel compelled to explore romance, our deepest wishes and our most important values.

It is in this first love that we start to explore what we find desirable in a person both physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  It’s the beginning of our search to find what the qualities are that make a relationship long standing; the model for our future happiness so to speak.

The research behind the effects of our first love is quite interesting and notable.  Some have found that a first boyfriend or girlfriend actually helps us identify what we DON’T want in a relationship.  Statistics of marriages that sprouted from high school sweethearts supports this theory: only 2% stay happily together in the long term.  Is this a bad thing?

Not necessarily.  Most of us still look back fondly on our first love.  One of the most important parts.  What’s important to evaluate, is what made your first love so exciting, and how you can use those lessons in the present.

1.     Discovering Together

a.     Nothing makes a moment more memorable than when it involves your special someone.  If you feel you’re missing the spontaneity in your love life, it’s probably because you’ve forgotten about the wonder that comes with going on an adventure, stepping out of your routine, or just being a little teen-age crazy together.

2.     Re-Introducing Courtship Formality.

a.     When was the last time you treated your loved one as if he/she were a new crush, and not a life partner?  Sometimes we forget the magic that comes with the formality or courtship—opening a door for your partner, grooming yourself a bit more carefully even if you’re just hanging out at home, or surprising them with their favorite thing to eat.  When we become overly familiar,  it’s easy to fall into rountine and begin to take each other for granted….and that can quickly flatten chemistry.  A little effort, appreciation, and focus can go a long way in re-igniting those fun, special sparks that make us all feel more alive.

3.     Learning from each Other

a.     When you’re thinking back to your first love —what did that person teach you, but more importantly, how open were you to learning?  We start off by hanging on every word, curious to see all that this person has to offer.  Over time though, we fall into that habit of hearing but not really listening to what they could teach us.  It’s good to ask yourself sometimes if you’re treating you beloved with as much   courtesy as you would with a friend or co-worker.  Challenge yourself to tune in and really listen to your loved one in your next conversation.  Your sweetheart is growing and changing too and if you’re not tuned in, you may miss an important opportunity to fall even deeper in love,   You may be surprised at how new and interesting , this person who once captivated you seems.  You may find that when you hear and see them with an open heart ,and mind, that they can capture you heart all over again.  Approaching your relationship with fresh wonder may be the perfect elixir for feeling first love forever.

It’s no secret that we just witnessed a monumental conflict occurring in Egypt.

When we allow ourselves to understand the impact our actions have not only on ourselves but the planet we live on, we realize the necessity to take loving action. We each have the power to correct conditions within as well as to affect the world we live in. –Harold W. Becker

Each of us, to some extent, has the capacity to love humanity as a whole.  We experience it when we read touching stories that make our souls soar; we experience global love when we feel the encompassing compassion to help our fellow man entrenched in disaster in another part of the world. We act upon it when we care for the environment around us.  There are so many acts of global love happening around us each day; even the unsung acts of loving behavior like volunteering, personal micro-lending, and fostering or adopting unwanted children are all acts of global love.

Global love provides a profound connection between neighborhoods, cities, and countries.  It melts away the barriers or geography and genealogy.  One of the most striking recent examples of global love, is the unity in Egypt.  While it could have become a civil war, the Christian and Muslim Egyptians have decided to protect one another in peaceful protest.  What started as a simple demonstration for freedom and choice has grown to a vast symbolic battle against injustice and oppression of the human spirit.  Global love is about the humanity that we share.  Our models of the past focused on our differences.  I see a new model emerging globally: one that recognizes we truly are one human family on planet earth, different personalities and traditions, but our beating hearts, the tears we cry, and the love we feel for our families, friends and communities, so very similar. 

How can we become imminently more synced to act upon our global love?  It starts with consciousness.  Your impact is dependent upon your decisions, and your decisions are dependent upon your discernment.  Look around you at what can be done—is this something you can join in actionable motion?

Global love expands to spreading this awareness to those closest to us.  Movements begin one person at a time, and when we gather in small groups first we have the largest and best-targeted impact.

Last but not least, global love is an act of kindness to both yourself, and to everyone around you.  When was the last time you laughed and smiled?  When was the last time you supported local business?  When was the last time you walked, instead of driving somewhere so that you feel the connection to real people who are going about their day?

If we each are more conscious in small ways, it can make a big difference.  A global difference.

Go out and spread the global love!

Crystal Dwyer

O my friend, if you are longing to be written on, become a blank sheet. –Rumi

Finishing up this blog series, I am excited to share with you some timeless wisdom, and tips to continue your lifelong path to the greatest YOU possible. Remember when I said that capital venture firms have a 1 in 20 chance of being successful? The way that they assess their success rate when investing in a business, is by evaluating whether the company is unique and fundamentally sound enough to grow and participate in emerging markets. Essentially, they observe the changing world around them and try to discern how this company is uniquely ready to meet those needs and changes.

As you invest in yourself, it’s important for you to go through the same evaluation regularly. You’ve seen how people, places and things around you have changed. Now it’s time for you to prepare yourself to not only meet those changes, but discover how you can contribute to a better you, and a better life for yourself habits and thought patterns that determine our success rate before even begins!

Napolean Hill said, in his classic book Think, And Grow Rich, “The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat.”

Do you passionately desire the changes or goals you have set? If not, how can you modify them? It’s important for you to become completely overcome with these thoughts in your mind—every major success in history started with a magnificent obsession about the goal they were pursing, whether it was Oprah, Columbus, The Wright Brothers, or Einstein! If you don’t find your dreams to be infinitely exciting, what’s going to bring you back to them time and time again?

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” –Vincent Van Gogh

During his lifetime, Van Gogh was NOT a popular painter. Are you surprised? I was too, years ago when I read the history of his greatest passion! What does that teach us today, though? Vincent Van Gogh had the attitude, motivation, and passion to work towards his goal of being a noted painter. He understood that he should paint for no one, but himself. He also understood that in order for him to paint, he must start by silencing his inner critic. For some this will be taking actions, and for others it will be repeating their personal statement.

“All things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation of all things. You have to make sure that the blueprint, the first creation, is really what you want, that you’ve thought everything through. Then you put it into bricks and mortar. Each day you go to the construction shed and pull out the blueprint to get marching orders for the day. You begin with the end in mind.” –Stephen Covey

Your journaling shouldn’t end with this blog series, or this month. Begin today by creating a plan—even if it’s baby steps—and have a final goal in mind. Check back to your Self Examination, your goals, and the progress you’ve made on a regular basis (the easiest way to do this, is to set a reminder on your email calendar or phone). Constantly check to see if you’re going in the right direction, and how you can make little improvements to bring you closer. You are the architect of your future—are you going to build your foundation with sand, or brick?

Last but not least, make a commitment to yourself by choosing a mentor.

Is there someone who really embodies your goals/dreams/passions?  Whether you know them or not, make them your mentor. Study their work, what they’ve said has helped them get to achieve, and their lifestyle, then begin to emulate it. In fact it’s even okay to imagine yourself as them. Sometimes taking on an archetype as our own, gets us past the limiting beliefs we may be hiding about ourselves. Andrew Carnegie mentored Napoleon Hill, Georges Lemaître mentored Einstein, and Oprah mentored Dr. Phil. Are you seeing the pattern? No one becomes a great investor without a little help on the way.

Most importantly—love yourself. Your journey begins by seeing the value you have for the world, your friends, your family, and for your life. You can create a timeless legacy by building upon the love inside of you, and by acting on it every day.

To your greatest journey yet!

-Crystal

As I was reading through my beloved’s, Mark Victor Hansen, newest book, U R The Solution, this caught my eye.

Do you believe this is a wise move for Warren Buffet? 

Do you believe he is inspiring his children to larger things that they can create with their own hands?

“If you know how, you can tune into infinite possibilities.”

-A.O.

U R The Solution, By: Mark Victor Hansen and Bill Froehlich

Do you remember when you were a child, and the world seemed infinitely available to you?  Nothing was impossible and you could be anything you wanted from day to day.  I remember when I would go from being a dancer, to being a home designer, to being a mother…  Sometimes all in one day!  Everything was exciting, and I was continually open to the discoveries that were in hiding, waiting to be uncovered!

Today it is essential that you introduce that wonder, curiosity, and joy back in your life.  Last week you wrote out a personal statement for the New YOU and released old situations, habits, emotions, and thought patterns that slowed you down in the past.  This week we are going to go over what that really means.

The New YOU is an infinite being—one that can become anything you put your mind too.  You CAN become an author, an ambassador, an inventor, or an entrepreneur.  You CAN become the best spouse, parent, friend, child, or employee.   Today you’re giving yourself permission to follow the path to your greatest dreams, your soul-felt purpose, your blissful and fulfilling relationships, and your completely unleashed happiness.

Take out your personal statement about the New YOU.  What does this statement mean to you?  And how can you make this statement true today?

The best part about the journey to your greatest success, is that it starts with one little ripple.  One ripple in your life will radiate out to every corner, every relationship, and every action you perform.  Today I want you to make the choices that become the pebbles which, when dropped into the pool of possibilities the ripple has already begun. 

Take out your journal and write 5 small changes you can make this week.  Make them specific and realistic—this is for you, and you don’t want to add more than you can handle.

Now choose one that you can do today, and write it on another bright sticky note.  Post it somewhere where you can see it regularly.  Every time you have an opportunity to perform this task, I want you to give yourself a star on the sticky note.  If you are conscious about the change you want to see become a habit, it will eventually become seamless.  One of the easiest ways to remember that you’re making this change, is to constantly celebrate and reward yourself—after all, positive reinforcement in your life will always outweigh the negative

At the end of each day, I want you to spend 5 minutes journaling how you have implemented that change.  Once you begin to notice that you’re doing them unconsciously, it’s time to add another new actions—repeat the process and watch how life becomes synchronized and effortless.

Over a 30 day period of time, it’s always good to review your journal, and see how the ripples may have caused big waves in your life.  For instance, you started doing pushups before you snacked, just to make sure you weren’t bored or antsy when you were eating.  30 days later you have lean and strong arms, not to mention a bigger savings account from the money you saved!

In my experience, change must always be initiated in small steps for it to become permanent.  After all, if you’re tearing your hair out to accomplish something, will you want to continue it?

Next week we’re going to go into more detail—if you’re looking for radical, fun, and easy changes in your life, this is going to be an exciting entry for you!

-Crystal